3 years ago today our family forever changed....we lost Matthew. It's hard to imagine that he would have been 15 in a week. As I sit here I wonder how he would have changed. I know he would be taller than me right now....he was up to my shoulders at 11. I can see hints of him in Justin now that Justin is getting older. It just hurts still so much not to have him here, not to hear his voice, see his smile, wrap my arms around him....

I love you Matthew and I know that you are with me always watching down over all of us. I still have a lot of anger towards the person who took us away from us but I am working on it. I know that you are safe in heaven and that one day we will be together.

**thanks to my good friend Lynda who made the above image for me :)

It seems like whenever I blog lately it is never good and I do apologize for that but I need a space where I can let the good and bad out.

Ben lost his job yesterday...I can't go into all of the details yet but if you could keep us in your prayers it would be much appreciated! It's scary walking down this path but somehow we will manage and I thank God that I am working.