Monday, March 16, 2009

Needing to get it out

Everyday is hard but I guess since we are coming up on the 3 year mark of losing Matthew it's getting harder. There are days I really do think I am losing it and you know I've been told that it will get easier but it doesn't. I'm still mad and I think a part of me always will be. I want to forgive...thinking that maybe if I do it will get easier...but I can't. It's just not fair. You can't run away from it, its there always. Somedays are easier than others.

6 comments:

Lynda said...

((((((((((Gretchen))))))))))

We All understand.. And We love you and are hear for you always!
Love ya,
Lynda

Lisa said...

Awwww Gretchen, big hugs to you, always here if you need me, Love Lisa

Odie said...

(((hugs)))
I won't say it will get easier, cuz I don't think it will ever be away from your heart or mind, or you will ever stop missing Matthew. Just be comforted in knowing that one day you will be reunited again in heaven. For him it's a blink of an eye, but for you a life time. I know it's not comforting now, but one day it will be. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

*hugs*

Indigo said...

Easy is a word that should never be used in ever consoling someone on the loss of a child. I think there will always be an angry part for having lost Matthew the way you did. I also believe your healthy mentally and spiritually for that as well.

If you went around denying those feeling were ever there I would be more worried dear friend. Instead your facing the coming Anniversary of his passing with courage. Your anger gives you something to hang onto. I know the pain and sorrow are still raw for you, please know your in my thoughts. (Huge hugs)Indigo

Carlene Noggle said...

Dear Gretchen,
i do not blame you from being angry...I would be too in your shoes and so would any other parent who had a child taken away from them by a drunk driver. I pray for you sweetheart. I know how hard it is for me on the anniversary of danny's death, I can not begin to imagine the suffering that you go through. i wish I could take the pain away from your heart Gretchen...I pray for you often...Hold strong hon, the time will pass and with the help of the Almighty, you will get through...
God bless you,
love,
carlene

Terri said...

Gretchen I wish I could give you a big hug in person...all of those feelings are only natural when we've lost a loved one...I don't have children but I cannot even imagine the pain you are having to deal with...your son will always be with you in spirit....know we are here for you always!

Hugs
Terri